Once upon a long time ago, in a past life, in a past job, during which I threatened to have a syndicated column called “behind the rusty gate” …
The door bell rang. I walked out to see what adventure was about to unfold (it was usually an adventure of some kind), and was confronted by a older guy, looking a bit the worse for wear. Immediately he cut to the chase, asking if I could take the grille off the top of the ornamental pond, because he had lost something in there last night.
I was curious enough to ask what he had lost; that was where I made my first mistake that day. He informed me that he had lost his teeth! Now, over the years, I had heard some good stories told me at that gate; but this one was the one that made me totally lose the usually calm exterior. I couldn’t say anything, nothing at all, and dashed for cover around the corner and out of sight of the gate. There, leaning against the wall, laughing noiselessly but grasping for the door handle to escape into the office and not be heard, was a holy man who lived behind that rusty gate. One, it would appear whose funny bone was somewhat similar to my own.
I don’t think I even found out what caused his immediate jocularity, well almost hysterics, but I know what caused mine. The pond was quite beautiful, calming water, small water lilies and some fish, happily going about their lives in devotional surroundings. The vision (well it was a holy place, so one could be excused for having visions) that immediately came before my eyes was a kissing gourami swimming along happily in the water and every time he puckered up, he displayed the most beautiful set of white pearlies, which he had discovered the previous night, floating down into the pond, almost like manna from heaven.
Luckily there was a workman on the premises, who didn’t share our (perhaps weird) funny bones, who was able to go back to the gate and discuss the situation with the toothless gentleman.
It was a while before I could re-tell the story without going into peals of laughter; and when I saw this cartoon today the memories came swimming back …
Oh yes, they did get the cover off and search the pond, but no teeth came to light. Memories of exact locations aren’t always that accurate in the light of day, following a heavy night.
ps This one’s for you Frank.
Copyright 2008 Swamp Productions Pty Ltd - http://www.swamp.com.au/
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